09.  I’m a little short this week, will you spring for gas?

08.  At least my real estate license is not suspended.

07.  If we get pulled over I will need you to jump over to the driver side.

06.  Sorry I was late meeting you, the shots were flowing freely at lunch today.

05.  I showed these same houses to a buyer last week so I made sure to bring bug spray today.

04.  I need to be done by 4 in order to make it to my restaurant job on time.

03. Yeah the muffler fell off but you get used to the noise after awhile.

02. When we turn right I am going to need you to stick your arm out the window and signal.

And the number 1 thing you should never say while your client is in the car with you…

1. The smeller is the feller.

1. Telling me how long they have been in the business, especially when the length of time they have been an agent has no bearing on what we are discussing.
2. The real estate market is unbelievable.  Whoever came up with that as a response when asked about the market during tough times should never have anything they say believed again.
3. You need to get your buyer/seller under control.  What would you like me to do, spank them or make then go sit in a corner?
4. Buyers are liars.  No, you are just terrible at qualifying.
5. List to last.  We just experienced record breaking inventory levels and a lot of Realtors did not last.
6. How low will your seller go?  I hope you are asking about their limbo skills.
7. It is ok, we do this all the time.  Uh huh, that makes me feel better.
8. This home won’t last.  I usually read this in MLS comments of a home that has been on the market for 1500 days.

Photo credit by Barely Fitz Patrick Fitzgerald

1. Prior to cold call nights all agents must stand outside searching for the first star to make a wish upon.
2. Increase the amount of money tossed into a wishing well from a penny to a buck fifty.
3. Bulk ordering of St. Joseph statues.
4. Weekly agent meetings where we sit around singing the Sun will come out tomorrow.
5. Nightly covert trips to competitors’ dumpster looking for leads.
6. Sheep and lambs to be sacrificed prior to every business meeting.
7. Instructions should be provided to each agent on how to cross fingers and toes at the same time.
8. Direct mail to be replaced with direct begging.
9. Rub top producer’s head prior to floor time for good luck.
10. All agents to receive a rabbit’s foot.

If none of these tips are help, then try going back to basics.

• Open Houses (EVERY WEEK)
• Walking neighborhoods
• Calling past and present customers and asking for the business
• Get involved in a local club or organization
• Attend office training , business meetings AND caravans to learn the inventory
• Cold calling
• Warm calling
• Hot calling
• Blog
• Twitter
• Facebook
• Maintain a good attitude

This can still be a great market for those who work it. Be positive. This is a people business. Get out and talk to and meet people. It works in any market!

Photo credit byspratmackrel Paul Walker